Friday, September 30, 2011
Hahaha. No. I am SERIOUS.
Before Tuesnesday (Tuesday and Wednesday, in between, and it's not a real word. Children are not encouraged to use it.), my crisis is basically EXAM. And DON'T LISTEN TO MARN YEE OR HOY CHUN WAI BECAUSE THEY WILL TELL YOU
And then at Tuesday I had the WEIRDEST NEW ORGAN ON MY WRIST! Looks like a pimple. I DID NOT LIKE THAT CREATURE. It's making my wrist look unfabulose.
She dashed to the phone to report to my aunt about this "chickenpox" thing. And WORSE, people told me that chickenpox treat adults REALLY violently. And then according to my research,
"Exam is around the corner."
But we ALL KNOW that exam is not around the corner, it is standing right there "reading its fingernail" like "Uh, when am I, gonna show up?Whatever."
 |
| "Uh, when am I, gonna show up? Whatever." |
She looks so COOL when she says that! Anyway I had a fever at Sunday and didn't do my revision. HELLO? TIME IS RUNNING OUT?
|
| "Yeah, whatever." |
And then at Tuesday I had the WEIRDEST NEW ORGAN ON MY WRIST! Looks like a pimple. I DID NOT LIKE THAT CREATURE. It's making my wrist look unfabulose.
Back home I just CAN'T SEEM to shake out of that OBSCENE thing so I asked my mom. And then at first she thought it was a ROCK!, because I described it as a "round thingy". And then to her it must be rocks.
AND THEN SHE ANNOUNCED THAT THEY ARE------
DUM DUM DUM DUM!
DUM DUM DUM DUM!
CHICKEN POX!!!!!
 |
| "Uh, whatever." That's it, Vanessa. You are not cool anymore. Get out. |
1) Chicken Pox guarantees no school
2) Chicken pox WILL NOT AFFECT people who HAD them.
3) Chicken pox will NOT make you SLEEPY, in fact it will only makes you NOT sleepy.
P.S. I think the "sleepy" part is FAIRY POX, pox for fairies in Neverland. Damn, I'm starting to mix reality with fantasy.
4) It is itchy and the itches are UNDEFEATABLE. DANGEROUS. DEADLY. Like the gas you give out before you want to defecate.
5) You are an adult. And you are having chicken pox. You are dead.
COME ON, I AM A CHILD, OKAY, I AM UNDER 18!
DOUBLE COME ON! IT'S JUST CHICKEN POX! HELLO?
And with this, I got into my sleep------
AND IMMEDIATLY AT THE NEXT DAY I LOOK LIKE FUNGUS MAXIMUS( from Barbie, Mermaidia)!
 |
| Guys, if your eyesight is great, you may find out that his face is full of "round thingys". |
Okay, minus the nose. It's gonna take time picking them.
The thing is, I AM NOT PRETTY ANYMORE! Okay, I look like a witch----minus the nose AGAIN---, but my SKIN is SCRATCH-LESS, ZIT-LESS, YOUNG AND SOFT LIKE ANYTHING THAT'S YOUNG AND SOFT, and most of all, makes me PROUD. And now I'm NOT proud, and Mom thinks that "sandal wood powder" is gonna help! The thing I see it's done by it is GIVING THE POX THEIR OWN SMELL." YEAH.
P.S. "Sandal wood powder" looks like curry powder.
I am so ugly that Twerp says that I'm too sexy. SHE IS RIGHT! I am exposing TOO MUCH of my inner ugliness and should probably migrate to Arab now. And Twerp said,
"It's no use. Arab women are beautiful creatures. Don't waste your time,Poxy."
.....AND THEN THEY ARE SO ITCHY THAT THEY ARE PAINFUL! I CAN'T EVEN PEE HAPPILY.
AND THEN THEY EVEN CRAWLED INTO MY TOUGUE.
AND THEN THEY FOUND PLACES IN MY EARS.
AND PLACES COVERED BY MY HAIR.
They are DEFIANATLY taking control.
What's more, I am SO SICK that I can't study, I CAN'T SLEEP----big deal to the Sleeping God, I was known as "She can sleep with her eyes open"---- and EATING HURTS, BECAUSE MY GUMS AND THROAT AND INTERNAL WALL OF THE MOUTH DRIED.
I'm starting to be so scared that I can imagined my personal belongings having chickenpox. Oh, and at my desk I have cute Naruto and Kubinashi photos and Logan! and stuffs. I accually TURNED THEM AROUND so they will not see my ugliness, EVEN WHEN PHOTOS HAVE NO OPTIC NERVES.
Thank you my friends for wishing me well...
Friday, September 16, 2011
Can't I relax?
Great, I'm already at the verge of exploding. I guess my temper isn't as good as I thought.
Look, I don't know why is everybody SO "WHOA" to those mindfreaks OH I CAN GET INTO THE TUBE OF ICE UNTIL TOMORROW or OH I CAN LET SCORPIONS REPRODUCE IN MY MOUTH or OH I CAN SLEEP INSIDE A COFFIN OF THORNS and other OH-I-CAN stuffs?
I'M NOT A MINDFREAK, BUT I GET TO PULL OUT THE MOST DANGEROUS AND MOST EXTREME STUNTS EVER-----
LIVING WITH TWERP AND DOWNLOADING MUSIC FOR MY MOM*.
* only when I can on my computer, which can't happen unless on holidays and weekends.
You see, my mom doesn't really know how to talk to the Hech-Pee, my laptop. She doesn't know what the heck is that "Start" button doing there, even if she knows the meaning of "start". But SHE does know my "ability" to download music to her phone. And I guess that's the only thing she knows.
You see, she's normally slim and stuffs, but when she starts to ask me favours, she turns into a BIG, FAT LIAR. She ASSURES me that she's gonna take JUST some time, and that time was 13:00-----
NOW IT'S 16:08.
She started with saying she wants Joe Brooks' Holes Inside, then by the end of the day she asked me to open EVERY LADY ANTEBELLUM SONGS AND JOE BROOKS' SONGS AND DIGI CALLER TUNE.
I was being in a really DANGEROUS mood, and when I struggled to keep my voice LOW, the outside THUNDER RUMBLED.
No, NOT being dramatic. It's really raining.
And then I struggled to finish the downloading-converting-trimming (Lyn, I DON'T want the intro/Lyn, this is TOO rock/ Lyn, this is NOT the part I want from Guns'n Roses)-saving process. My Hech-Pee ticked me off even more!
I think that's because both of us have emphaty, and when I was in the middle of a LOST-ALL-CONTROL crisis, Hech-Pee usually has her own "Lag Gei"(lagging) or "Hang Gei"(hang up) and "Doing things all wrong" processes.
And that ALSO helps in pissing me off. And then it's an ongoing process.
HELP.
Look, I don't know why is everybody SO "WHOA" to those mindfreaks OH I CAN GET INTO THE TUBE OF ICE UNTIL TOMORROW or OH I CAN LET SCORPIONS REPRODUCE IN MY MOUTH or OH I CAN SLEEP INSIDE A COFFIN OF THORNS and other OH-I-CAN stuffs?
I'M NOT A MINDFREAK, BUT I GET TO PULL OUT THE MOST DANGEROUS AND MOST EXTREME STUNTS EVER-----
LIVING WITH TWERP AND DOWNLOADING MUSIC FOR MY MOM*.
* only when I can on my computer, which can't happen unless on holidays and weekends.
You see, my mom doesn't really know how to talk to the Hech-Pee, my laptop. She doesn't know what the heck is that "Start" button doing there, even if she knows the meaning of "start". But SHE does know my "ability" to download music to her phone. And I guess that's the only thing she knows.
You see, she's normally slim and stuffs, but when she starts to ask me favours, she turns into a BIG, FAT LIAR. She ASSURES me that she's gonna take JUST some time, and that time was 13:00-----
NOW IT'S 16:08.
She started with saying she wants Joe Brooks' Holes Inside, then by the end of the day she asked me to open EVERY LADY ANTEBELLUM SONGS AND JOE BROOKS' SONGS AND DIGI CALLER TUNE.
I was being in a really DANGEROUS mood, and when I struggled to keep my voice LOW, the outside THUNDER RUMBLED.
No, NOT being dramatic. It's really raining.
And then I struggled to finish the downloading-converting-trimming (Lyn, I DON'T want the intro/Lyn, this is TOO rock/ Lyn, this is NOT the part I want from Guns'n Roses)-saving process. My Hech-Pee ticked me off even more!
I think that's because both of us have emphaty, and when I was in the middle of a LOST-ALL-CONTROL crisis, Hech-Pee usually has her own "Lag Gei"(lagging) or "Hang Gei"(hang up) and "Doing things all wrong" processes.
And that ALSO helps in pissing me off. And then it's an ongoing process.
HELP.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
It's obvious. Malaysia has changed, nonetheless.
The nearest mall to us is the MALL----identity changed for private matters----and the world changes to a new day and new day and new day and the mall ALSO changes to a new THING.
Dear couples, or experts in, EWW, LOVE:
If you don't kiss in front of the elevator, it WON'T opens, isn't it? 'Cause I PRESSED the button for it to open, NOT inserting my fabulose tougue into his mouth and then lick lick lick. Um, for the record, I DON'T have a boyfriend, probably due to my aura.
And can you guys tell me why do people BITE on their couples' ears? My mom has ALWAYS told me that Africans have food shortage, but I can STILL see their ears. So please explain their good behaior and we dear Malaysians' ____(fill in the blanks)____ behavior.
Annie said she keeps seeing couples "MMM... MY BABE... NO, PLEASE DON'T... MMMM... YOU ARE SO BAD.." in front of the lifts, which isn't making any sense. Are we gonna say "I do" in front of the lifts in the future?
"I...I do..."
"TING!"
There was even THIS time when me and Lao Bu wanted to distribute our company flyers to some REALLY OLD FOLKS. We targetted this pair of husband-and-wife, and NOT An Mo (Foreigners). They stopped at the bathroom and suddenly the man said,
"Okay, my dear... I'll be waiting for you...."
AND THEN THEY FRENCH-KISS, SWAYING THEIR HEADS AND STUFFS!
And then turned out, THE WOMAN WAS JUST GOING TO THE TOILET!
I once said a theory, that on Valentines, people eat chocolates.
And then their teeth blackens.
That's why they needed kissing, BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO CLEAN EACH OTHER'S TEETH!
Dear couples, or experts in, EWW, LOVE:
 |
| What have you guys been up to, hmm? Looks so tired and stuffs. Comb your hair, Edward. |
And can you guys tell me why do people BITE on their couples' ears? My mom has ALWAYS told me that Africans have food shortage, but I can STILL see their ears. So please explain their good behaior and we dear Malaysians' ____(fill in the blanks)____ behavior.
Annie said she keeps seeing couples "MMM... MY BABE... NO, PLEASE DON'T... MMMM... YOU ARE SO BAD.." in front of the lifts, which isn't making any sense. Are we gonna say "I do" in front of the lifts in the future?
"I...I do..."
"TING!"
There was even THIS time when me and Lao Bu wanted to distribute our company flyers to some REALLY OLD FOLKS. We targetted this pair of husband-and-wife, and NOT An Mo (Foreigners). They stopped at the bathroom and suddenly the man said,
"Okay, my dear... I'll be waiting for you...."
AND THEN THEY FRENCH-KISS, SWAYING THEIR HEADS AND STUFFS!
And then turned out, THE WOMAN WAS JUST GOING TO THE TOILET!
I once said a theory, that on Valentines, people eat chocolates.
And then their teeth blackens.
That's why they needed kissing, BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO CLEAN EACH OTHER'S TEETH!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! BOOYAH!
And because of that, moi had her annual Do-You-Know-Lyn Test again!
The questions are like JOKES to Lyishere.
1. When do I like Naruto?
A One year ago B Two years ago C Three years ago D Since FOREVER!
Ans:C
Look, people think that I LOVE Naruto so much it MUST be since young, the way "emotional" scar works. But the prob is, I HATE NARUTO when I was YOUNG. But since that I am a Number 5 person, I can quickly change attitudes. So, it happened three years ago.
2. What's my latest favourite show?
A Fish Hooks B Nurarihyon no Mago C Merlin D Ben10 Alien Force
Ans:B
You don't even need to ask your grandma. If she sits besides me for a day, she can even tell you the descriptions and details like she reads all the nerdy anime stuffs. Because I NAG when it comes to this.
3. Which an mo is gonna make me fall-head-over-heels FIRST?
A Brown hair with hazel eyes B White hair with grey eyes C Blond hair with blue eyes D Black eyes with blue eyes
Ans: C
A true friend would know who to introduce to me when they want me to have a boyfriend.
4. Pick one subjective question to answer:
i) Write 5 songs Lyn guaranteed like
The man who can't be moved, Science and Faith, Set fire to the rain, Mr.Saxobeat, Good Life...
ii) Ninja and actress, which will I choose?
SIAO! OF COURSE NINJA!
5. States:
i) Lyn's fav number: number 9
ii)Lyn's fav colours: red and black, the colour of chaos?
iii)Lyn's favourite quotes: Booyah, What the Hell, si bei kao lat
6. Lyn's most desirable weapons would be:
A Bow and arrows B Axe C Sword D Whip E Bazooka
Ans: B
My friends are generally right about one thing, is that if I kill, it will take time. BUT THEY THOUGHT I WOULD USE A WHIP! NO! I TORTURE them by slicing their heads off and when they turned into spirits, they WILL suffer LACK OF HEAD! Believe me, there are ACCUALLY a LOT of people without heads----or BRAINS.
7. State three video games I GUARANTEED liked:
Ans: DUH! Resident Evil, Dissidia Final Fantasy (Can't read roman, that's why I like THIS one without the roman numbering), Monster Hunter 3, KOF, blah blah blah...
8. My fav snacks:
A Wedges B French Fries C salad D GCB
Ans: B
So obvious, makan macam anjing pun...
9. The thing I really really wanted would be:
A PSP B iPad C A boyfriend! D An An Mo!
Ans: A
WHAT THE HELL! I EVEN ENTERED SOME PRETIGIOUS CONTEST TO WIN SOME STUPID MONEY TO BUY A PSP! HARDCORE, MAN!
10. What was the gift I bought myself?
A Nura DVD loh
B sot! Who buys for themselves?
C Naruto collection! WEEEE
D McD french fries tiga packs
Ans: A
Do you know I went to the NERDIEST PLACE EVER TO GET THIS? How nerdy, you say? VERY FUNNY. There was a FAT NERD standing there watching an anime WITHOUT SUBTITLES. And then HE had a PSP. So he was like,
"Hahaha-----gaming------hahahaha---gaming..."
And then a Black guy stared at me with interest! A mental hospital in disguise!
Anyway, today was GREAT HELL AWESOME! I NEVER thought that SO MANY PEOPLE would CARED! I kinda thought that it would be a little MORE regular! I guess my friends are DOWNRIGHT SUCCESSFUL in their friend's birthday.
Because birthdays are to make that person HAPPY TO BE BORNED in this world.
Our friendship is like Powerpuff Girls! In some episodes we du lan each other, but WE ALWAYS BE FRIENDS!
P.S. I pretended to be MUTE before recess to symbolize the World Before I was Borned
P.S.S Friends, your gifts ROCK. That GURI made me scream.
The questions are like JOKES to Lyishere.
1. When do I like Naruto?
A One year ago B Two years ago C Three years ago D Since FOREVER!
Ans:C
Look, people think that I LOVE Naruto so much it MUST be since young, the way "emotional" scar works. But the prob is, I HATE NARUTO when I was YOUNG. But since that I am a Number 5 person, I can quickly change attitudes. So, it happened three years ago.
2. What's my latest favourite show?
A Fish Hooks B Nurarihyon no Mago C Merlin D Ben10 Alien Force
Ans:B
3. Which an mo is gonna make me fall-head-over-heels FIRST?
A Brown hair with hazel eyes B White hair with grey eyes C Blond hair with blue eyes D Black eyes with blue eyes
Ans: C
A true friend would know who to introduce to me when they want me to have a boyfriend.
4. Pick one subjective question to answer:
i) Write 5 songs Lyn guaranteed like
The man who can't be moved, Science and Faith, Set fire to the rain, Mr.Saxobeat, Good Life...
ii) Ninja and actress, which will I choose?
SIAO! OF COURSE NINJA!
5. States:
i) Lyn's fav number: number 9
ii)Lyn's fav colours: red and black, the colour of chaos?
iii)Lyn's favourite quotes: Booyah, What the Hell, si bei kao lat
6. Lyn's most desirable weapons would be:
A Bow and arrows B Axe C Sword D Whip E Bazooka
Ans: B
My friends are generally right about one thing, is that if I kill, it will take time. BUT THEY THOUGHT I WOULD USE A WHIP! NO! I TORTURE them by slicing their heads off and when they turned into spirits, they WILL suffer LACK OF HEAD! Believe me, there are ACCUALLY a LOT of people without heads----or BRAINS.
7. State three video games I GUARANTEED liked:
Ans: DUH! Resident Evil, Dissidia Final Fantasy (Can't read roman, that's why I like THIS one without the roman numbering), Monster Hunter 3, KOF, blah blah blah...
8. My fav snacks:
A Wedges B French Fries C salad D GCB
Ans: B
So obvious, makan macam anjing pun...
9. The thing I really really wanted would be:
A PSP B iPad C A boyfriend! D An An Mo!
Ans: A
WHAT THE HELL! I EVEN ENTERED SOME PRETIGIOUS CONTEST TO WIN SOME STUPID MONEY TO BUY A PSP! HARDCORE, MAN!
10. What was the gift I bought myself?
A Nura DVD loh
B sot! Who buys for themselves?
C Naruto collection! WEEEE
D McD french fries tiga packs
Do you know I went to the NERDIEST PLACE EVER TO GET THIS? How nerdy, you say? VERY FUNNY. There was a FAT NERD standing there watching an anime WITHOUT SUBTITLES. And then HE had a PSP. So he was like,
"Hahaha-----gaming------hahahaha---gaming..."
And then a Black guy stared at me with interest! A mental hospital in disguise!
Anyway, today was GREAT HELL AWESOME! I NEVER thought that SO MANY PEOPLE would CARED! I kinda thought that it would be a little MORE regular! I guess my friends are DOWNRIGHT SUCCESSFUL in their friend's birthday.
Because birthdays are to make that person HAPPY TO BE BORNED in this world.
P.S. I pretended to be MUTE before recess to symbolize the World Before I was Borned
P.S.S Friends, your gifts ROCK. That GURI made me scream.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
My mom is weird!
Suddenly she's all BACK to "Mummy" when I was 6 years old. I'm gonna be 16 after thirteen days----TEN YEARS, OKAY? SUDDENLY she's back.
YESTERDAY, "Mummy" is back. And it was September 1st. So I guess it's a lucky sign. Can she keep it up until my birthday? Thank you very much, the author of my life.
How to differentiate MUMMYS and MOTHERS
MUMMYS: Talk nicely and joke around and laugh at your jokes.
MOTHERS: Nags all day and when she screams so much it's as if her mouth's gonna fall off.
Mothers also have issues with me, although I'm generally the BEST daughter ever.
My Birthday is coming. I don't know how am I gonna celebrate it. It's 16, you know. But, I don't know what's about me that's worth celebrating for. Hey Lyi, what's the best thing about me, huh?
Isshhh, I wish I can have THREE wishes that day, those that DON'T backfires. I'm NOT SO intelligent enough to think that much till it's a foolproof one.
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